"She's a lesbian."

I like taking pictures of women.

I think I would like to live my life taking photos of women.
I know this makes me sound like a lesbian.
I do not have to justify myself.

My boyfriend can do it for you.

I never thought about why I prefer female portraiture but now that I think about it, it makes perfect sense. There is something about a female that I've never seen a male photographer capture. I've seen many photographers try. They come out with dazzling photos.

Photos that will make you stop and stare. But still, there's always something missing.

Nature shots bore me. My male portraiture still remains weak. If I had a choice, I would take more pictures of my female cat and less pictures of my male cat. Unfortunately, that is not the case. He stays still more often.

I need a new camera. I should have bought a camera, not a car that gets hit by mangoes.

Faceless Nameless

I have a friend called Faceless Nameless. He dresses nice when he's going out to dinner and always makes reservations. My friend, Faceless Nameless, is misunderstood. I enjoy watching Faceless Nameless eat.

Faceless Nameless listens to most of the music I listen to. He was once surprised that I knew the lyrics to a song playing in his car. Faceless Nameless always takes me to nice places that aren't too expensive but have good food. I value that. If I told him that I value that, he would turn, in his own words, "tomato red", which is why I call him Heinz. Heinz tries his best nearly every day to be a good man.

Mr. Nameless burps well. I don't know how to burp out loud so I find myself envying him for being able to. He can also sing nicely. He changes his voice to fit the person singing. Heinz can do some great impersonations.

[The girl sitting next to me right now is wearing ugly wedge sandals. My throat hurts.]

I will not be posting a photo of Mr. Faceless Nameless because he is faceless. I think it would scare you if I posted a picture of someone with no face. I know it would scare me.

I just scared myself.

Yahooing feline farts, anyone?

To all of you cat-owners, cat-knowers, cat-lovers, or general-knowledge-freaks, I need an answer to this.

Do cats fart? Have you ever heard one or smelt one?

I'm very curious to know but I'm too lazy to check it up. Oh and by the way, I'm not a "google"-er. I am a "Yahoo!"-er. So there.

And yes, this is my female cat.
She is a tease. Just like me.

Weird Job Interview Answers

Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to described their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees:

* A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle.

[I think I'll try that out at the next interview.]

* Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to both the

interviewer and the music at the same time.

[Wow. She's multi-talented like me.]

* Candidate fell and broke his arm.

[I know I'm clumsy but I hope I'm never that clumsy.]

* Candidate announced she had not had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger

and French fries in the interviewers’ office.

[I think my Hardee's can wait.]

* Candidate explained that her long-term goals were to replace the interviewer.

[Guts. Actually, in Arabic, I'd call it "Fogr".]

* Candidate said he never finished high school because he was kidnapped and kept in a closet in Mexico.

[Hire him. Creative guy. Good liar. Makes a good advertiser.]

* Balding candidate excused himself and returned to the office a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece.

[At least he's giving you both sides of his personality.]

* Applicant said if he was hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having

the corporate logo tattooed to his forearm.

[That's loyalty for you.]

* Applicant interrupted the interview to phone her therapist for advice on how

to answer specific interview questions.

[She must have been a "posh" female Egyptian socialite.]

* Candidate brought large dog to interview.

[But the dog was scared to stay home alone!]

* Applicant refused to sit down and insisted on being interviewed standing up.

[It builds strong leg muscles. Yes, it does!]

* Candidate dozed off during interview.

[Poor guy/girl! S/he must have been so worried about the interview that s/he couldn't sleep.]

An Easy Way Out

A friend of mine hit his girlfriend.

I have never been hit by a boyfriend.

I thank God for it but can't help but think that physical abuse is easier to deal with than emotional abuse. Emotional torture breaks people. Breaks their ego. Cracks the traces left of a personality. They leave longer lasting scars. They take a longer time to fix.

Physical abuse allows a woman to pick up herself and leave. It's easier to find a reason to leave him. The society, regardless of where you're living, will sympathize with you.

But emotional abuse is different.
I succumbed to an emotionally abusive relationship for three years.

I gave chances. I was treated nicely for a few days. Once I was convinced, it started all over again. I forgave him for calling me a two dollar whore. I forgave him for bitching at me
in the street and making himself look good and that he was decent because some asshole said some stupid comment about me when I was wearing a skirt of a slightly-above-my-knee length. I forgave him for telling a girl on the street that he was willing to trade me for her when I was sitting right next to him. I forgave him for talking to a girl he doesn't know from my phone while pretending I didn't exist. I forgave him for always favoring his friends over me even when I was right. I forgave him for ruining any New Year's Eve with his stupid shit. I forgave him for a lot of things.

I was called fat. I was called ugly. I was taught to believe that no one else will ever want me.

I lost my friends. I lost my dignity. I lost myself.

It took me a long, long time to realize that this is not what I am and that I had changed into someone I would have normally belittled for being so weak.

But I was never hit. It took me three years to get out only because I was never hit.

If I was beaten up, even once, I could have gotten out easier.

Physical abuse is easier.

I'm amazing.

So I did get a sunburn and now I regret it.
My nose is peeling and I look like a retard.

Oh well, at least it lasted a few days and people said I was "glowing". Now, I think I look more like an oreo cookie being pulled apart. And I didn't sleep in the car on the way there but I did get some sleep on the way back. Oh oh oh! My cousin's kid, remember? The pubescent teenager? He didn't come! I was thrilled! I felt I could fly! Yes, you can call me strange now.

Now let's go through what I've achieved since the last post:

My plans:

1. Get a sunburn.

Yes! I asked for it and got what I asked for.

2. Start and finish a book.

Yep. If Tomorrow Comes - Sidney Sheldon.

3. Wake up and sleep early.

Positive. I'm so proud of myself.

4. Ignore my family.

I'm too nice to do that. Forgive me.

5. Stretch in my bikini in front of my religious aunt.

I did the opposite. Everytime I'd see her passing by, I'd cover up a bit out of shame. Ha. I'm such a coward.

6. Turn up the music when they're gossiping about family members who aren't there.

I didn't put on any music actually. And I joined in. Gossiping can be fun.

7. Lose weight. [Fat chance.]

Now you've got to be proud of me! I actually did lose weight. I think I need to faint now. I seriously don't believe it myself.

8. Wear lip balm all the time.

Negative. I always forget.

9. Smell nice for no one.

Not particularly. I didn't shower once in three days. Even after swimming. Oh how I love being dirty for three days and jumping into the sea when I'm feeling a hint of yuckiness coming on! You can "ew" now. I don't care.

10. Wear nothing on my nails.

I didn't! I didn't! My nails got nice and clean from the sand and salty water too. Screw manicures.

11. [I wrote 12 and realized I don't know how to count.] Smoke less.

I smoked... 2 cigarettes... in 3 days. I. Am. Amazing.

Here's the beach.

Here's my other cousin's kid doing a handstand.

Back to work. Bleurgh.