Thank you, Carmen!

I stole this from Carmen. I couldn't resist.

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Whom would you blow up?

Yusra, the Egyptian actress.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?

Slipknot. Useless. Useless. Useless.

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

The vocalist of a local metal band called Wyvern.

4. What is your favorite cheese?

I hate cheese. The only cheese I love is mozzarella and most people tell me they don't consider it a cheese because it's supposedly too bland.

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make?

The Hardee's Big Champ. Haha. I can't resist it. I just love it too much.

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice?

Josh Hartnett. Oh. Oh. Another one! Wait! Josh Hartnett!

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?

Jon Bon Jovi. He was the first celebrity I ever had a crush on. He still makes me smile silly.

8. Now that you've slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy crap, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?

I'll go buy myself something nice because I deserve it.

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Barcelona, Spain.

10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do?

Give it to a random local stranger and ask them to take me to a nice place to have lunch, drinks and a chat about the country.

11. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

More holidays for everyone! Wheeeee!

12. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what's the premise?

"The Scent of Sunlight". A documentary about people of different social classes in Egypt and the triumphs they go through every day.

13. What is your favorite curse word?

Fuck.

14. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Ask them to kindly go back to their homes and wave at me from their balcony since I can see the Pyramids.

15. Your house is on fire! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don't worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what's the item?

My cds fulls of pictures I've taken.

16. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?

Joke with everyone about how I'm going to die because no one is going to believe me.

17. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be?

To be able to heal people, physically and spiritually.

18. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

Going out with Joe alone last New Year's. That's one memory that I'll never forget.

19. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool stuff... you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin'! What country are you going to live in now?

Damn. Probably either Spain, Italy or Norway. I can't decide. Fuck you, question person.

20. Hopefully you didn't mention this in the super-powers question.... If you did, then we'll just expand on that. Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like "Dude, ... I can FLOAT!"?

Hesham Foda. Hahahahaha.

21. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?

Ghandi.

22. The Gates of Hell have opened, and Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person, etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

My aunt's husband. He was one of the best men I've ever met.

23. What's your theme song?

The Chicken Dance. It's just funny.

Patriotic Guilt

I was driving to work this morning listening to Nogoom FM. They always seem to talk about more interesting things than the mindless drivel on Nile FM. I will admit to enjoying the Nile FM show as well but sometimes they're a little too much for me to deal with in the morning.

Anyway, back to the main story. Let's not get off track here.

They played a patriotic song sung by Shireen. Apart from the annoying kids' vocals in the background, I loved it. Or maybe I was just in a patriotic mood.

I felt very silly actually but my eyes actually teared up and I was overwhelmed by a gush of emotion towards this country. I pulled a tissue out of the box and starting blotting my eyes ever so slightly so that I don't ruin the make up I have on. I think people felt sorry for me. I think people thought I had boyfriend troubles or someone died. I'm wearing black. It makes sense.

I think some asshole spotted my hair from the car behind me so sped up a little to catch up with my speedy 60 km/h. He drives close to my car and waits for the perfect moment for me to look at him and he winks! The asshole winks. He pauses. And then he looks sad because he notices I'm wearing black and my eyes are full of tears. I think he would have hit me if he realized I was just having a patriotic moment. So what does he do? He puts up his hand as if to say he's sorry and he speeds up to avoid having to look at me and feel guilty. He deserves it. I hope he feels guilty all day.

The Facebutt Towel

My sister is the type of person who will stand behind her friends in a public bathroom just so that her friends will open the door and she'll just slide through without having to touch the door. My sister washes her sneakers every week and keeps them spotless. My sister gets annoyed if I wear any of her shoes without socks.

She puts glycerine cream on her feet and wears socks so that her feet retain the moisture. She always wears earrings. She refuses to sit on a particular chair in the kitchen and would rather stand because that chair is supposedly "too close" to the garbage bin. My sister used to make fun of bands I listened to until her friends approved them as cool. Thankfully, she doesn't do that anymore.

My sister screams very loudly if she's exposed to cockroaches or lizards. She gets goosebumps, which I find hilarious. My sister's clothes always match and she has issues with me if I'm wearing "clashing colors".

My sister is the funniest person I've ever met. My sister got into university at the age 0f 15. My sister is the perfect balance of nerd and cool. She got all her friends' grades up and all her friends' families love her. My sister cries at physical pain but very rarely at emotional pain. My sister is the best person in the world.

Here's something my sister would love. Please click on it to enlarge it.

Indian Thriller

Since I'm half Indian, how about the Indian version of Thriller?

It's strange how we can't do this here. Maybe we're too lazy. Maybe we don't want to have the time. The Egyptian sense of humor is the best I've seen. It's a shame we don't use it to our full potential.

Fatso

I think I'm gaining weight.

I can't feel it yet but due to the excessive junk food eating taking place at work, I can't help but wonder why it isn't showing yet. I hope my body doesn't decide to go, "BOOM!" and explode into the stereotypical Egyptian housewife figure. The one that goes to a wedding and her butt hangs off both sides of the chair while she smiles happily at the bride and groom.

Yesterday I had:

1. 2 coffees (1 Nescafe with Coffeemate & no sugar and 1 cappuccino with 4 brown sugar packets)
   
2. carrot cake
3. 6 vegetable spring rolls (including soy sauce and sweet & sour sauce)
   
4. 12 wunton (including soy sauce and sweet & sour sauce)
   
5. Shandong salad (including soy sauce and sweet & sour sauce) [I can't help but laugh when I say that out loud.]
6. 11 chicken nuggets
7. 1 large McDonald's fries
8. 2 Pepsi Diet
9. a small bottle of water

I'm sure that can't be healthy. I'm gaining weight. I know it. That's it. I'll finish my Pepsi Diet and I'll be okay. I'll be okay.

Musical recommendations for Mr. President

1. Crying at the discotheque - Alcazar
2. Do you really want to hurt me? - Boy George & Culture Club
3. Mercedes Benz - Janis Joplin
   
4. London Bridge - Fergie
5. Fever - Daniel Ash
6. Days go by - Dirty Vegas
7. Electro - Outwork
8. Love potion no. 9 - The Drifters
9. Jane says - Jane's Addiction
   

This is why I love Egypt.

There's a gas station on the main North Coast road. It has a computer accessories store next to it. The sign says "The World of Computers" in Arabic. What fascinated me the most was that the sign was handwritten. I mean seriously, how credible is that?

Thank you, camera, for being with me!

Yaya is too cool.

I love the way he enters. How Egyptian of him. He looks like such a fun guy to talk to. I will interview Yaya one day. One day!

Thanks, Zeek. I love how I teach you things and you, in turn, teach me. You're cooler than Yaya!

MySpace: I love you so much!

Messages received on MySpace [This is just as good as hi5.]:

From:	Hesham http://www.myspace.com/116347940
Date:	Oct 4 2006 1:09 PM Flag spam/abuse [ ? ]
Subject:	hiiiizzzzzzzzzzzzz
Body:	Hiizzzzz my dear , do u mind if we be friends ,i'll not say to u a traditional words as (u r beautiful or seems honey) ,but the most thing i like in u that u r a girl u seem a soft girl ,so please can we be friends. iam not serious as in the photo ,i waill wait for ur reply ,byyeeez

___________________________________________________________________

From:	wael http://www.myspace.com/61398671
Date:	Sep 30 2006 1:25 AM Flag spam/abuse [ ? ]
Subject:	hi
Body:	hi i.m wael i want to make frend ship with you my emil hot_love_good@hotmail.com

___________________________________________________________________

From:	mostafa http://www.myspace.com/sharawy
Date:	Aug 14 2006 2:18 PM Flag spam/abuse [ ? ]
Subject:	hi
Body:	21 Egy_charlatan hi i am mostafa from suez age:21 study:computer scince search for true love i have car+apartment+good jop want to make with u good Relationship mean engaged if u want and u serious connect me egy_charlatan@yahoo.com

___________________________________________________________________

Catchy

I can't help but replay this song over and over again! Grrrrr!

Karl Wolf - Butterflies.

Musical recommendations for some funky feelings

1. Car wash - Rose Royce
2. Hey mister - Custom
3. Doo wop (that thing) - Lauryn Hill
4. Locomotion - Kylie Minogue
5. Get on up - James Brown
6. Faith - George Michael
7. Aerodynamic - Daft Punk

Photoshop Miracles

I seriously love Photoshop with a passion. I've been working on this for an hour and I'm not done yet but here's what it looks like so far. I want a job airbrushing women. I found what I want to do. Go on! Click on it! You know you want to. Mmm-hmmm.

Closure: Part Two.

I ditched class one day and met a boy. He had soft hair, small hands and a troubled mind. I have hands that are bigger than the average female.
He made me realize that it doesn't take much time to like someone. He also taught me that it doesn't take much time to fall out of like with someone.

There was something about him that was so endearing that it would make any 14 year old girl want to pat on his back and sit next to him. He needed nurturing. I was not one to nurture people at the age of 14. I was too busy overcoming Cairo.

He played the guitar while I was too shy to even sing out loud. I pretended that I didn't know the songs he was talking about only to hear him talk more than he normally did.

Our relationship ended abruptly. In an ugly way.

I was a bad girl. I talked shit about him and I admit it. I just talked shit to the wrong person who went and told another wrong person who ended up telling him. I never got the whole story but it doesn't really matter to me anymore. I apologize. I am not as bad as I used to be. I hope you believe me.

Ahmed Hakeem sells American women. Finally!

Please visit Ahmed Hakeem.

I don't think this is real but it definitely gave me a good laugh.