Me, myself and I

I'm bored. Bored of myself.

I've been drowning myself in cooking techniques, random sit-ups, and mindless reading to numb the bore of boredom.

Newsflash: I haven't worked in 3 months. 1 in Cairo getting my stuff ready for the move. 2 months here "adjusting" to the new city of Kuala Lumpur.

By now I'm thinking: I should really do something with myself. Maybe I should get a job. My main problems are that I have no motivation to find a job and that I'm not really sure that I want to get back into the mindless drivel that is advertising.

So, I sit. And wait. Maybe the broccoli-looking trees outside my window will help me with this problem. Maybe they will finally speak up if I look at them long enough, hard enough.

I had an amazing day yesterday - although definitely amazing, it left me all the more confused.

Since I've been here, I've mastered the art of a few things. I've mastered:

1. the art of making pasta.
2. the art of making potatoes.
3. the art of sitting quiet for so long that I no longer feel the need to talk to communicate.
4. the art of walking alone until I feel lonely.
5. the art of laundry.
6. the art of long, languid bubble baths.
7. the art of eating more vegetables.

I could go on for hours.

The things I miss the most about Cairo are:

1. long, useless conversations with people I love.
2. driving a "normal" left-hand drive car.
3. the smell of Egyptian food.
4. the dry weather.
5. the comfort of a couch.
6. the Cairo Jazz Club.
7. myself in Cairo.

Change

Things Malaysia has managed to change:

1. I used to turn down a lot of social invitations because of my social anxiety. Now, I jump at every chance I get.

2. I used to hate being around girls who are more attractive than me. Now, I scout them out to see what I can do to make "me" more attractive.

3. I used to put myself down before others get the chance to. Now, I believe in "whatever doesn't kill me, makes me stronger".

And yet, I am still in constant need of reassurance.